Life changing experiences

Not to get all melodramatic but I have been thinking alot lately about people and events in my life which shaped me. I feel that it is valuable to self reflect, look back and see what shit has affected yourself. Here we go.


1. My Father's death

I was 5 years old when my dad passed away. I did not know him that well, my parents were divorced and I only saw him on weekends. I don't even really have memories, only a few images in my head. I was so young that it didn't affect me until much later. There is not a day where I don't wish that my dad was here. Being a father now, I really see how important it is to be in your child's life. It's weird now I am more comfortable talking to "motherly" types, than to men because of growing up without my father. I was always jealous of people who were close with their fathers.

2. Leaving Oregon

I love Oregon, and it was really hard for me to leave. When I went back for a year, I saw it in a different way. During my first time in Hawai'i, I really glorified Portland, while Portland is cool, I live in the land of eternal summer. There is quite a tradeoff though. It is expensive as shit in Hawai'i. I live on the Big Island, and it is pretty much country out here. One truth I have to pass on, is that small towns are the same all over. Full of igornance.

3. Skateboarding
I started skating in 1993. Best times of my life, I have never felt more alive than when I did then. My favorite memory of this time is filming a video I made in Video Prod. class. Riding the bus for sessions, filming, just having fun, best time of my life. Skateboarding also introduced me to punk rock, and the whole idea of punk rock. If it wasnt for that I wouldn't have the open mind I have today.

4. My brother

I love my brother to death. I miss him alot, he is the only connection I have to our father. My brother is 10 years older than me, but in alot of ways he is 10 years younger. This past Saturday morning, I got a call from his wife that he tried to kill himself. I feel alot of guilt for my brother's condition, when I was in OR, he seemed to be doing good but when I left he fell apart. Steve, you are the only person who gets Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan like I do. KHAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!! You worry me way too much. So hey, Steve, I love you. Take care of yourself.


5. My experience as a parent.

Responsibilty sucks, but I wouldn't trade Emily for anything. You remind how full of life I should be, even when you try my patience. Daddy loves you.