Playboy December 1987 Review

Playboy_December_1987, originally uploaded by cheaphotelbloodymary.

This is an okay issue, although I liked the issue I reviewed earlier a little better. In December 1987, I was in the 3rd Grade, ironically this was probably around the time I first came across a Playboy. The 7-11 near 122nd and Division, someone had dumped a a big stack of Playboys behind it. One of my friends found them. and I remember just soaking in the adultness of it. Not so much the nudity aspect, but just the whole vibe of the magazine. It's kind of like Playboy has this fantasy that the men who read it, are upscale, and sophiscated. I don't think that is really the case, and I think that it gets a bad rap because of it. Although, I am sure there are men who buy into that vibe, and buy it for that reason. As I've said before, Playboy is a great magazine regardless of Playmates. Take em out, and you still have one of the best magazines ever published. I know its very cliche to say "I read Playboy for the articles", but like most cliches it is true. Okay enough, rambling, lets get on to the substance.
On the cover, we have Brigitte Nielsen, then known as the recently divorced Mrs. Sly Stallone, and star of wonderful 80's schlock like Red Sonja, and Cobra. Now known as the Flavor Flav nudist, crazy, ex. What a career yo. She has a pictorial inside shot by Herb Ritts. The accompanying article is goofy, because basically it consists of the writer trying to interview her in her Mercedes on her cellular phone, which keeps losing signal, any questions that get through are mainly answered by her personal assisant. They should have just dropped the article, and kept it visual. There is great interview with Gore Vidal where he nails the then Reagan adminstration to the wall. I am now forever a fan. It is kind of prophetic to hear him talk about the conservatives constantly fucking up our beloved democracy. (which they still are) There also is the second part of a Jessica Hahn interview which is very interesting. It is interesting because she talks about her faith, which she says led her to liberation. As someone who was brought up with Christianity, I relate alot to her statements. I guess my view of her before her I read this interview was as kind of a bimbo, but I have more respect for her now. It is also interesting to hear an inside view of the 1980's many televangelist scandals. Sleazebags.
"Sex Stars of 1987" is another pictorial, with people like Jon Bon Jovi, Vanna White, Madonna, and Whitney Houston. Fluff basically, although they do include Iran-Contra posterboy Oliver North. Kind of funny, since now he is busy glorifying war on Fox News. One of the best parts though, is the interview with Justine Bateman(of Family Ties fame), it is funny to me that she was big enough to rate an interview. Maybe I was too young, but I don't really remember her being big. She doesn't really say anything of note, but it is good none the less. On we go, to an article on Dennis Quaid, and some short stories. Good stuff. My favorite article though is "The Modern Man's Guide to Life", which is full of classic shit. Such as "The Proper Piss", who comes up with this crap? Also included is "Revenge", and "The Pubic Workout". Apparently you need to regularly exercise your pelvic muscle, to maintain better sexual endurance, and a free urinary tract. Yes, all of you men out there e-mail me, and I'll give you the details. Classic.

Now for the ads, there is a classic one advertising a video club which consists mostly of Golan Globus releases, kings of 80s B-movies. Now you too can own great films like The Delta Force, Murphy's Law, and my personal favorite Hamburger:The Movie. (This film is a Porky's ripoff, about a guy going to a fast food training college. All I gotta say is that the man with the worst name in football, Dick Butkus stars. I had a babysitter who had this taped off of HBO, and I watched it constantly. No wonder I dig 80s' Playboy.)Radical! You can thank them for making Chuck Norris a household name. You can tell the AIDS hysteria was in full swing because there are mad fucking condom ads in this thing. Nice, To sum it up, reading this is a great snapshot into 1987, a time of stock market crashes, Republicans, and cocaine. Word, this issue reminded me of that movie American Psycho, I guess it needs a soundtrack of Huey Lewis to be properly appreciated.